A letter to a giant space robot? Yea. Awesome

glitterbubbles:

thetalkinghead:

Dear Optimus Prime,

Why choose a big rig.  Don’t get me wrong.  You are a red and blue bad ass piece of metal, but a big rig?  Lets just say typically in my country, the people who choose big rig aren’t exactly the people who score the highest on the SAT’s.  If I could choose any inanimate object for locomotion, I am pretty sure a big rig is the fucking last thing I would choose.  I mean if I was going to choose big and slow I would at least go choose a M1 Abrams Tank.  It comes handy with a turbine engine, burlington armor, and oh yeah…umm what’s it called…I got it…A FUCKING CANNON.  Three things that come in handy when you are fighting a few decepticons, AMIRIGHT.  Instead you choose a big rig which is equipped with a nice sleeper on the back, dual tower exhaust and a CB radio.  

In fact, while we are at it, why do all of the autobots choose automobiles in general.  I just feel bad watching a Cammero defend against an FA18-Hornet.  Maybe one of your guys should go over to the closest US air force base and scan yourself into an F22 Raptor.  Take my word for it, a much better and stealthier plane than the FA18.  And why is every car a chevy?  Why not Lambo or Ferrari.  I guess yall just get a kick out of being a tad bit slower than your enemy.  (Who btw are fucking anything the want to be).  

I mean, thanks for saving earth and all, but I feel like you could do better.  You got to set goals to reach, you know.  All constructive criticism, please don’t kill me.